


How To Say Goodbye

by bellestrashprince



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, i'm lowkey bitter about the christmas special but oh well, my otp til the end of time (no pun intended), you might need tissues for this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2019-02-20 16:08:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13150194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellestrashprince/pseuds/bellestrashprince
Summary: 'His eyes were still searching, unfocused and frantic, like a man gone blind desperately searching for his last sight of sunlight. His body had gone limp in her arms, so she let him sit down on the ground.“Where is she?” he asked her, licking his lips that had gone pale from the cold. “Why isn’t she here? She’s supposed to be here.”'A reimagining of what the Whouffaldi reunion, what might have been if it really had been her, and not a projection.





	How To Say Goodbye

He stumbled to his feet, and Bill rushed to his side in panic, catching him in her arms. The first thing she noticed was how cold his body had grown, and not from the snowfall. His blue eyes were searching frantically for someone or something that wasn’t there.

“Doctor, is there anything I can do? Please!” she cried out. Bill felt utterly useless. Though he’d told her about his previous lives, and the nature of timelords, she had no idea what to do. Her best friend was dying, and there was nothing she could do. She was lost.

His eyes were still searching, unfocused and frantic, like a man gone blind desperately searching for his last sight of sunlight. His body had gone limp in her arms, so she helped him sit down on the ground.

“Where is she?” he asked her, licking his lips that had gone pale from the cold. “Why isn’t she here? She’s supposed to be here.”

Bill was at a loss for words, she had no idea who the Doctor was talking about. He’d never mentioned anyone to her during their travels. “Who? Who’s she?” His eyes rolled back into his skull as his breathing became heavy. He was almost gone now, but yet he was still holding on, waiting for something. “Doctor, please!” she pleaded.

The Doctor smacked his lips, searching for that name he’d had on the tip of his tongue, but never on his lips, all these years. “Cl-” he stammered. It sounded right. “Clara.”

She’d hoped that the name of the woman in question would’ve rung a bell to her, but alas she’d never heard it before. It all seemed so strange. Why was he calling out to someone that wasn’t there?

Her friend was fading away, his skin beginning to glow a glittering yellow as he was getting ready to regenerate. Bill grabbed the Doctor’s hand so as to bring him back to reality, to stir him awake. “Please, Doctor! Who’s Clara?”

He did not have the time to answer, before they were interrupted by the whooshing, wheezing noise of the TARDIS. A familiar _thud_ followed as it parked behind them. But that wasn’t possible! They’d arrived in the TARDIS themselves.

Ready for the worst, Bill stood up and turned around, ready to defend her friend to the very end, to face whoever had come.

She was petite, with brown hair and big brown eyes. Sad eyes. Sad eyes looking at the Doctor, at Bill, at the TARDIS, as if they were memories from a bygone era. The woman gave Bill a sad smile, before walking up to the Doctor and kneeling down beside him.

His hearts were beating violently in his chest, but the Doctor seemed calm, almost at peace. “Clara...” he uttered with a melancholy smile on his lips. He finally remembered. Perhaps the neural block had been worn out by his body dying. He was grateful for it either way. It would not have been right for him to go without saying goodbye.

Carefully, she cupped his cheek in her palm, stroking it slowly, as if lulling him to sleep. He leaned in to it, comfortable with the feeling of her body against his. He couldn’t believe he’d forgotten her touch, now it was all he could think of.

“Doctor.”

The Doctor smiled at her, content. Now that he saw her again, remembered her, he couldn’t believe he hadn’t realised it was her. The memories were all coming back to him now, the flood gates were wide open and he was overwhelmed by all the feelings he had left unresolved. Clara Oswald made him feel in ways he’d never imagined he could, at least not in this regeneration.

 _It’s a big universe,_ he’d told Bill. _Perhaps, one day, we’ll find her…_ At the time he had spoken of Heather, but he knew in his heart he was speaking of Clara. His clever, brilliant Clara. Of course, he should’ve known she’d be the one to find him.

“What were you doing, leaving without saying goodbye?” she joked, laughing sadly with her eyes filled with tears. He laughed too, and had to hold his stomach from the effort. Clara quickly grabbed his hand, lacing her fingers with his. “Doctor,” To hear her saying that name again was like music to his ears. “Do you remember?”

The Doctor smiled weakly, because, finally, he did. “Do you remember what I told you? In the Cloisters?” He felt his hearts fill with warmth at the memory.

“Yes,” he said, his voice so weak it could only muster a whisper. His hearts were tinged with nostalgia. It was like his entire life was coming back to him, and he was reliving all those moments, while Clara sat there, holding his hand. He couldn’t imagine a better way to go. “And now, I’ll never forget.”

His left hand guided its way to her grasp on his right, and he held onto her like it was the end of his life, which it almost was. “Thank you,” he whispered.

And then he was gone. Clara stepped away from him with a broken heart, leaving him to it, because she knew that, in the end, everyone does it alone. But she was glad that she’d been there for him, like he’d been for her. She’d said her goodbyes, and now she was letting him go.

With heavy footsteps she walked back to her TARDIS, where Ashildr was waiting for her.

“Where are you going?” his new companion asked her, bewildered and lost. Clara felt bad for her. She remembered what it’d been like when she’d been in her position, but she knew he was in good hands. She turned around, at the foot of the door, to look her in the eye.

“I’ve been running a long time now. Longer than he has. It’s time to go home now.” She gave the girl one last smile, and then continued on into the TARDIS. The door swung shut behind her.

**Author's Note:**

> OOOOHHh boy...
> 
> I first had this idea of their reunion over a year ago, since before Bill was even announced as the next companion. Now that I've witnessed the actual canon one, I felt it left something to be desired. So, I decided to sit down and write down my idea. Please note that I haven't have the chance to see the full episode yet, only the last few minutes. This also isn't meant to coexist with what happens in series 10 or in Twice Upon A Time, it was just an idea I had after rewatching series 9 last year.
> 
> Anyways, hope you all enjoy. Merry Whouffaldi day and happy holidays!


End file.
